I hope I inspire hearing people through the writing of my blog.
Without educating and raising awareness circulating around deafness and the abilities, hearing people, you have the ability to remove all preventative barriers that deaf people face from achieving their dreams.
Hearing is no barrier, it’s a common assumption. With a little knowledge, patience and acceptance. Differences are ok, if anything they bring beautiful views of adversity, and these differences have a powerful way of working together.
From the moment I stepped into the unknown world of parenthood. Claiming the badge of pride, nobody can prepare you for the journey of motherhood, for your entire pregnancy, is like waiting in the line of a 9 month queue. Once your beautiful baby is placed in your arms, here is your seat on the most anticipated rollercoaster of sheer excitement, panic, happiness, sad, exhilarated, worried and overwhelming ride of parenthood. Enjoy.
From breast or bottle, baby LED or jar food, first words to first steps, first cot to first bed, to nurseries. We all have the most incredible power to guide and nurture our babies the way we wish to. After all there is no manual to parenting. No right or wrong way. Each difference to how a group of friends parent their children is the most beautiful comparison and strength to parenthood, it’s diversity something that should be cherish and celebrated.
But one thing we have no control over is schools, when selecting our choices for our little baby’s, whether you’re a first time mother sending your first child, or it’s your second, third. We’ve always been the sole provider to make choices around what’s best for our children. But the feeling or uncertainty when relying on someone you don’t know making the decision for our children’s future is daunting…
School choices are ranked by 1st, 2nd and 3rd choice. But how can you be remotely happy if it wasn’t your first choice that you had your heart set on 100%? Individually you’re all embarking on a journey that’s most likely more anticipated by worry from yourself, rather than your child. While it feels most will get their first choices, please be remindful of the minority that won’t. Whilst everyone is posting gushing tributes to their babies big adventure to the school they loved and picked… So many won’t be so lucky to get into the school they so desperately wanted for their grown up babies.
I have chosen not to post about what school Luka-James’ has been placed on social media. Whilst he got his first choice. I also comprehended towards the anxious, nervous feeling off despair some parents may feel. Social media can be cruel in the ways some people can view things, a reminder or bearer of adverse feelings. Preparing their child to embark a journey to a new school and to face a whole new process of making new friends can extremely dampen the excitement of this milestone. But remember this feeling is only temporary. Because I want to show that while 40% off a child’s learning is from school the other 60% is nurtured by YOU.
YOU can still influence your child’s learning and development at home.
From looking on social media, so many people felt sad and worried around the prospect of their child going to their 2nd choice. The stress from appeal meetings, anxious phone calls and agonising waits.
These parents have now even stated they have wasted so much time on negative energy as the 2nd choice of school was a place where their child has flourished. The child is happy and love the school. The parents have built fantastic connections with the teachers and their experience has been nothing but outstanding. And really couldn’t see their child anywhere else.
Please see the positive in this process, if you decide to appeal or not. The teachers all have the same desire to bring the best out in our children. Allow them to explore and develop new sets of skills. They will enjoy meeting new friends, who said you can have too many friends! The journey might not have been one you anticipated but you can make it so exciting, a new place to explore, new faces to meet, new colours of uniform.
Sometimes life leads us on a different path for the most beautiful ride of new happenings.
This is the beginning to your child’s future of anything they wish to be.
Mother’s Day has finally approached us, a day dedicated to show appreciation, gratitude and most commonly known as honouring the influence of mothers in society.
Since stepping into the unknown world of motherhood, holding the title of mummy for 4 years to three, ambitiously individually crazy little humans, I’ve found dressing my new found ‘mumbod’ a slightly difficult task of it’s own. As all eyes are on me I want to feel confident, comfortable, yet feminine.
Here are my top picks for Mummas out there. No matter how you’re spending your day, be sure to spend it in comfort and style.
The mum who knows that regardless the fact it’s her day to shine, she will most definitely be chasing after her little rascals during a family pub lunch.
Bold And Colourful.
Just because her endless bouncing energy, love and infectious smile is enough to fill any room, doesn’t mean her outfit can’t match!
Ahh, the oh so causal, I-just-threw-it-on-together-and-hoped-for-the-best Mum, we all admire.
Comfort over style, sport luxe is her thing. And she pulls it off so damn well.
Head down to your nearest JOULES, for 25% off Mother’s Day selected lines.
Since becoming a mother, I have found myself really supporting local, family run bespoke businesses.
I have always struggled to find headbands and wraps for Alivia-Ellen. Not only is she small for a near 3 year old, the bands aimed at her age often irritate her and pushes her hearing aids off her ears. Which then cause a lot of whistling feedback. Shop brought bands for her size head are quite thin and not as glamorous as the bands designed for a 3 year old. But being a little diva, she adores dress up and wearing accessories. So I was thrilled to come across MINI BEAU.
Lizanna, whom is mum to 4 girls, completely understood my request and really helped to cater Alivia’s hearing aids in the measurements and design of the band. Not only is she extremely approachable, kind and enthusiastic. She showed a lot of compassion towards helping a little girl, feel like all the other little girls.
MINI BEAU’ offers a beautiful range of bows, head bands, head wraps and co-ord skirts and bow. The products have a great sense of love and very thoughtfully packaged and protected to ensure your purchase reaches you beautifully.
I can honestly say I admire this woman, I cannot imagine how hard it is to combine mothering and also running a business from home, I guess a huge check list of jobs goes on daily, I have a daily check list just for me and the troops to get from one day to the other never mind running a successful busy business!
If there is ever a product you would like and personalised a little different to what’s advertised, Lizanna’s customer service skills are second to non, I have gone on to request a head wrap in different fabric and designs and she never fails to deliver a high quality print in her products.
If your looking for a special something for a little girl, I cannot recommend this bespoke home run company enough.
Thankyou so much Lizanna, for making my little girl feel beautiful in her bow just like her friends.
For as long as I can remember there was something about the great outdoors I connected with.
As the cool autumn breeze delicately brushed against my rosy cheeks during a Sunday morning trot through the fields. Wellies paddling in shallow waters watching my children’s smiles radiate upon my own. Those Sunday country walks, energising and clearing our minds for another successful week. The crisp leaves crunch beneath our wellies and conkers that fall upon a bed of sunset coloured leaves. As the orange glow of sunrise breaks the darkness of a cool summers night, a slight breeze gently disturbs the calmness of the lake, mesmerised by the glistening from the awakening summers sun.
There is without a doubt behind these memories made, boasts an incredible British countryside endorsed brand which ensures our grand adventures are kept stylish, comfortable yet compatible and truly accommodated for all weather conditions that Britain prides itself on, the ever changing unpredictable weather that is. Above all with an added extra splash of uniqueness which made joules stand out from a crowd.
The 30 years of success from Tom joule, whom prides the brand on reflecting the countryside’s character into his designs has had a flourishing start since the clothing line first started to be introduced at a Leicestershire country show in 1989, the bright vibrant colourful wellies you see upon display set the benchmark for the British brand, from 1999 joules produced its most loved iconic harbour top selling 3 million to date. The Phenomenal success of joules lead to Little joule being launch in 2008 bringing a vividly colourful outdoorsy, family focused clothing.
This is a brand that I have seen grow within my family for nearly 12 years. A hallway lined with vibrant patterned wellies, bold rich rainbow like coloured rain coats injecting a little fun to our walks, gone are the days of the dull green hues of wax jackets to protect us from the unpredictable British weather, this is a brand we truly believe in and love enough to be seen passing down our generations. As part of Joules’ 30 Years of Making memories campaign, I will share some of the beautiful memories joules have helped create with my family.
Life before becoming a professional bum changer to a champion wiggler that’s more slippery than the average fish trying to escape the clasp of a fisherman’s hands, I have found that once you’ve upgraded your life to motherhood every breath you take will be child-consumed. The last four years of motherhood I barely have had a chance to take care of myself, the housework or the mountain deep washing pile, so that i think we’re running low on clothing, so I buy more clothes then realise the top i had been looking for is 3 foot deep in the washing bin!!
An epic ‘Beksie fault’, guilty as charged.
I know first hand that it can be mentally, emotionally and physically difficult even maintaining a close relationship with the father of your children, on any scale, yet alone hoping for friendships outside the family unit to last.
Specially after giving birth to my son who is currently 17 months old, I didn’t get to experience those hazy, blissful loving first few days of bonding and having lots of company from family and friends. My poor boy spent 6 nights in the ICU unit. I felt myself slowly yet surely sinking deep into the baby blues. I cried every time the father left, I missed being home with my two babies, and I missed being surrounded by sheer chaos and noise. Instead I was in this big spacious white, clinical room with a continuous beep of the baby’s heart beat and oxygen pressure. My boy shared a room with one other baby, whose family popped in and out throughout the day. Which was comforting but during the night I was lonely and just had my precious poorly boy for comfort, who was nursing from me.
I had moved to a new town and felt pretty isolated from my family and friends. Although most of my immediate friends aren’t mothers, for the times they visited myself, the two toddlers and baby I questioned and listened to their adventurous life that I once had. I would love to hear what they was doing, experiencing and what seemed little problems, taking it in joyfully as if I was that young woman in my 20s again. I found these precious girl times was slowly becoming less frequent and harder to maintain, although we text daily it’s not the same.
But luckily one of my old teen friend who is also a mother to a gorgeous 7 year old recently moved too. Pretty much the one thing you can do with a newborn surgically attached to your boob is chat. And chat we did. The closeness you so quickly form with your new mummy friends is beautifully deep.
When your non mummy friends come round and slump on the sofa and kick back and exclaim they’re exhausted. Had a awful day at work, emotionally confused from a heartache drama and still slightly hungover… I quite literally smiled how blissfully unaware they was to how hard it was being a mother to multiple of children and fighting off baby blues, ‘try being in my shoes’.
Not one of my non mummy friends could ever share the same enthusiasm or understand what an phenomenal achievement it is that your little darling slept from 11pm instead of hourly cluster feeding until 2am before waking for their first feed of the night, and most certainly cant comprehend with your obsession with the colour, texture and frequency of your breast fed baby’s poops to your now toddlers poop that quite frankly is the worst smelling thing to date, and know that they will never understand the true feeling of engorged breasts, cracked nipples and comparing the ever changing post-partum bleeding from all your children’s birth, these aren’t conventional topics for a non mummy. To finally find a friend that truly gets why your dressed in your pjs at 3pm, a face that hasn’t seen a mirror to know you have crusty baby vomit on your chin, mascara that’s kindly hugging onto your under eye bags, your top has one wet patch from your leaky boobs, someone that takes pure delight in recalling the birth of your children, it is such a relief to find that you’re not alone.
At the start you get friends you forgot about messaging you like they’re your new Best friend again, completely ogling over your newborn. Your Facebook messages explode, and you gain more likes on a photo than you ever get in a year! The royalty of having a new born soon wears thin, specially when the development starts to change the tiny little bundle of newborn cuteness into a crawling, drooling, climbing human which then discovers its legs and can run before walking, then the chat and boy do they chat!
You begin to feel you will never finish off a sentence and your non mummy friends are looking at you with either sympathy or pity I can’t work that one out yet, it’s a struggle to finish a sentence, let alone a conversation, when your 4 years of age son is asking you the same damn question on repeat, and your replies of ‘just a minute Darling’ turn to a solid ‘WAIT’, your darling daughter who is profoundly deaf climbing up onto something that will injure the girl, yet she’s feral at heart so shes on a repetitive mode and climbs some more making your total trip of getting up and down off the sofa and muting your conversation for the 20th time. And then your baby is no longer in that sleeping, cute squidgy baby stage. It’s a hungry, teething monster, and full on suffering a serious case of ‘man flu’. Maternity leaves come to an end, and your little bubble of long, lazy days hanging out with a tight-knit little group of mamas and babas is suddenly burst.
My then sweet little babies are now energetic, talking rambunctious 4, 2 and 17 month year olds with busy social lives of their own to be maintained at nursery and little siblings hospital appointments as well as my own, working part time and maintaining a family home thrown into the mix as well, meet-ups with these wonderful women are few and far between. And when the childcare stars align we manage a quick catch up over the children’s squeals and wars.
Non of my pre-children friends had babies of their own when I had my eldest and to date they still don’t, I am so excited to spoil their children when their time is right and be their biggest support and helping hand. After all I should be a pro at it by then (Haha!). Whilst they were generous with their cuddles and gifts, but their lives carried on in much the same way. And what was hard for me, mine had undergone a seismic change and I felt as if I was stood frozen observing them through a pane of glass, able to see but not reach out to them.
But soon it won’t be long until they have children of their own, understanding the curfew of 11pm, why we take advantage of the pee in peace on rare odd appearance during a meal out, why I generally have splodges of someone else’s bodily fluids somewhere and that’s just common occurrences. But then they will truly understand how harder it will be to see them, and harder still to actually listen to them. And how hard it was being a mummy on your own. And appreciate the company.
My non mummy friends, We try to meet. But a simple brunch at a child-friendly cafe in town quite possibly could have scared them off having children for life! Sometimes simple things like this, can feel more frustrating than enjoyable, for the both of us, we don’t actually get to talk to each other very much. And I’m consistently thinking two steps ahead of my children’s actions, what will they do next? Who will get off the chair first? Who will launch the first item of food off their plate? They don’t necessarily play nicely together just because they’re siblings . I can be desperate to hear their news, their views on the current political situation, even just to find out where they bought their lovely (albeit non food splattered stained) coat, but I can spend 2 or 3 hours in their vicinity without any of us finishing a sentence to each other because i’m too busy coaxing a two year old to sit still and eat her sandwich.
In reality until my children are schooling, a mere text is a reminder I still exist and I still care. You will soon learn the chasm of friendships in motherhood and take some brief comfort from the fact that we are not alone in this.
It’s sad when who we deem friends, are ones who live in our phones. Merely because the luxury of meeting them face to face is almost as existent as seeing a dinosaur cross the street. In a biter sweet reality, the nature of friendships change and move on. The intensity you once had with teenage relationships with friends does not carry on into adult life. Life viciously pulls you apart in different directions. Those young carefree, late nights that blissfully unawarely turned to early morning drinking sessions don’t necessarily survive geographical dispersion and fledgling careers with 9am or a baby screaming at the top of his lungs at 4am. But it is worth holding on. It is worth making the effort, even when it seems impossible, because when you do achieve the holy grail of a real conversation with a proper friend, the residual feel-good factor can keep you going through an awful lot of splattered pasta sauce, toddler tantrums and extreme tiredness. I’m lucky enough to have a small group of remaining non mummy friends. And when we reunite it’s like we’ve never spent so long apart. Cheralyn and I go back to senior school and I still remember in science class sending her a note asking if she’d be my best friend. We’ve experienced many laughs, experiences, holiday abroad, troubles and changes, boyfriends and heartbreaks. She’s watched me grow as a mother a different path to what she’s chosen, a career driven woman in HR. She’s travelled to many beautiful parts of the world, whilst I nurtured my children. I’m grateful for the times we do have together even if they’re limited. It’s a friendship worth hanging on to, and I’m so excited to see you grow too.
Being Luka-james’, Alivia-Ellen’s and Parker-james’ Mummy has fulfilled my life in more ways I can ever express, but I need the people in my life who still see me as Beksie a 27 year old woman.
One day a year we celebrate romantic love on, 14th February. Solely this day was to gift a card anonymously to somebody we admired… but with such a social media generation my curiosity was who buys their children Valentines gifts? Who felt the pressure to keep up of this ever growing trend of ‘showering your money, for social media purposes’? Never one to truly be behind the hype of this event. An overrated, money making ‘holiday’.
I was the type of woman who turned their nose up at the isle with the sickeningly sight of red and pink hues, the seabed of cards making me cringe of how much recycled waste, the heavily fragranced candles which will sit gathered with dust on the shelf forgotten about. And the flowers… ok I do love a bunch of flowers. But not for the sake of ‘showing devotion’ for a day.
But I must say from the moment Luka-James was born I have softened and I have absolutely been captivated in all holidays from Valentines to Easter or celebrating Summer. I will ensure the days are celebrated some what differently to feeling the need to gift my children and panic about the costs. We celebrate with creativity within the themes.
There are such fun ways to celebrate valentines day all under £10, from crafts to gifts and baking. Here is my guide for little ones and how we intend on celebrating the day of love.
At the end of the day, the gifts aren’t the knowledge of showing and proving your love whether that be towards you’re partner or gifting children. I believe the family activities we spend together will be the most important part of the day.
Cheap friendly hacks:
Memories to keep and gift to other family members, I’m sure as parents we all have paints and paper laying around. Use handprints to create flowers of all colours and then with a green finger tip make the flower stem. Or simply draw a big heart outline and encourage the children to do lots of colourful fingertip prints to fill the heart.
Use any icing you have laying around or simply for £1 and some red food colouring to make pink or red icing. Cover plain biscuits with the icing and apply any sprinkles you have. Yummy yet creative.
I admit I’m a cheat when it comes to cupcake making. I simply buy plain tea cupcakes for £1 and then use frosting or icing to decorate the top. Not costly, time consuming or making lots of mess in the kitchen. Again you can either buy decorations for £1 or use what’s left at home. The kids love making their own cakes!
Also I buy asda’s own rice crispies and melt chocolate to make little cakes and with extra melted chocolate we add sprinkles or heart marshmallows and flowers.
⁃ Sensory rice play.
Texture play is a great way to entertain children I use different food colouring to dye the rice gains. And leave over night. I then pop them in a tray with stencils and allow the children to put into used bottles to shake or run their toy cars and fingers through. Luka-James loves to make letters in dry rice too!
⁃Salt dough decorating
creative keepsakes for all the family such a lovely personal touch for all the family to enjoy.
⁃Home made play dough
Red of course! This is something for the older ones to help prepare before you play! Great way of introducing maths too!
⁃Help making dinner
My children are always so proud to eat their own food that they’ve engaged in making with!
Remember, kids thrive of you spending time with them and learning from you. Showering them with expensive gifts are loved for a short period of time. But your time is priceless as are the laughs and memories you make together that last a life time.
Home made play dough.
• 1 cup of flour
• 1/4 cup of salt
• 3/4 cup of water
• 3 tablespoons of lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil
• Food colouring
• Any seasonings, scents or glitter and confetti you would like
1. Add the water, oil and lemon juice to a medium non-stick pot and heat on medium heat on the stove (maybe even slightly lower heat depending on your stove).
2. Add in the food colouring, liquid scents to the water mixture.
3. In a mixing bowl, combine the flour, salt and any dry seasonings you are using.
4. After the water is hot, but not boiling, slowly add the dry ingredients to the pot and while mixing to combine. I use a wooden or plastic cooking spoon.
5. Continuously stir until the ingredients combine, dry out and begin to form a ball. If there are parts that seem a bit sticky still, just flatten the dough out and put the sticky side down on the bottom of the pot very briefly. Flip back and forth frequently until it doesn’t seem sticky anymore. However, don’t cook it too long. It is better to be a bit undercooked as it will firm up as it cools down.
6. Place on a sheet of wax paper before it cools down a bit. Then knead the dough for a minute or two to bring it all together.