When something beyond our control changes life as we know it, it’s how we deal with what we CAN control that shapes our days.
From 23rd March, we all as a nation woke the very next day full of apprehensive uncertainty, most of us waking up finding ourselves being an entirely different parent from the one we was, the day before. For the majority of us, we became teachers over night, as we tried to adjust to a new routine of working from home channeling our inner worries.
As COVID spread quicker than wildfire through our communities, taking no favour. Thousands if not millions of parents embraced their new 24/7 roles. On day one we saw a blur of rainbow coloured Pinterest worthy routine charts plastered all over our Social pages.
Mother’s of all ages prepared to tackle this change, like all mums we just adapt. But it wasn’t long before the heat turned up and pressure in the pan started boiling. COVID began to weaken our mental health, we appeared to dangerously compare ourselves more than ever to the sunshine glowing mums we see on social media, warmth radiating of their smiles through our screens. Our lack of ability to cook fluffy looking fairy cakes drizzled deliciously in white as snow icing and glittering sprinkles. Fear crept in as we realise our inability, lack of patience to guide and teach our children strategies we left behind the moment we stepped foot away from school. ‘I’m not a teacher, I haven’t trained to be one.’ But we forget for the last 4 years we was our only children’s guidance. We nurtured and taught our children to roll over, crawl, talk and walk. We taught our children to express themselves. We taught our children life skills and met all those milestones alone. We instantly became victims to undermining our parenting.
Like our great grandparents time, we now too are learning how to parent in a global crisis. Unlike them, their war was known and our war is silent and the enemy is unknown and unidentifiable until it claims its next victim.
Much similar, when Livy’s hearing was diagnosed as Profoundly deaf, life as I knew it changed. The way my parenting had to change for the preparation and resilience, it was a familiar feeling, as the parent you are today is not the one you have to step into tomorrow as. Our ability to change is not as reluctant as our veggie refusing toddler.
As we’re forced to sit at a table, to a dinner party we wished not attended with a host like COVID, as it serves up some pretty phenomenal changes to our everyday living, grief of lost ones and the economical stress of business’ being forced to temporarily pause. As we take our first mouthful of a recipe of disaster, acknowledging and accepting our feelings and stresses is the key to seeing through our days. We’re not alone right now, it’s very much ok to admit we’re struggling as we’re all sat at the table finding ourselves experiencing more emotions than we bargained for. And potentially a few greying hairs.
As each day blurs into the next, with only a cuppa or a wine in hand to identify if it’s morning or night, I hope you too are beginning to believe in your abilities of how incredible we are at adaptation, suddenly, your other problems feel weightless and we let go of the little things.
I mean, there was a time I sworn to myself that if I ever became a Mum, my child wouldn’t be seen out the house in a princess/marvel costume. Now my daughter struts her sass in multiple of princess Dresses and both sons rock a Spider-Man costume Spraying anyone that crosses their path with invisible web. I have adjusted to functioning on less sleep imaginable. All those cheeky drinks on a ‘school night’ ain’t got nothing on a newborn cry for boobie milk on every passing hour. I’m sure we’ve all imagined about being that insta mummy who feeds their children organic veggies, yet our darlings demand chicken nuggies with chips being their only form of veggie, we all know who won that war!
From being a adult without a care in the world and within minutes stepping into the world of unknown, Parenthood. You’ve already nailed this skill of change and adaptation.
Keep believing, even if it is to get through to bedtime for that chilled glass of Rosè. Tomorrow is a new day.
We successfully got dressed before 9am and sat at the table with colouring books for the younger two and a handwriting workbook for Luka-James. Coffee to hand feeling smug, I’ve got this shit under control.
Crayola crayons blast through the air quicker than a spitfire, closely followed by said workbooks. Coffee stained jumper and 3 kids trying to pin each other down, life depending on who gets first dibs on the iPad.
Lastly here we discover how to create a mummified mummy… with those precious last scraps of rationed loo roll.
Monday home schooling goals failed. But there’s always Tuesday.
We’re all still in the midst of a global crisis, If you found that you’re checking the time like clockwork, you’re just getting through an hour at a time.
You’re not alone.
Eventually in due course you prepare to get by a day at a time. With three children all at different developments, the very idea of forever is crushing.
Give yourself a break.
We are trying our hardest.
Together let’s get through this morning, let’s get through Monday, let’s get through this week together and watch Peaky blinders lusting over the bad ass Mr Shelby with a glass of rosè, hair that has seen a brush on better days and a hand absolutely willing to help you demolish that bag of chocolate… no guilt attached.
Mothers, Dads and Carers, be proud of how hard you’re trying during this incredibly uncertain testing time.
Both Livy and myself received letters this week notifying us both that we fall into the category of being vulnerable and at high risk of serious illness if we become in contact of COVID19. And at more risk of being admitted into hospital than others.
It’s such a worrying time for us all. Please keep safe this weekend and have a lovely Easter 🐣
Please stick to the rules. Stay home. Save life’s.
4 years ago you was delicately wrapped and placed on my chest. I can remember like yesterday looking down at your vernix covered button nose. The teeny tiniest nose I’ve ever seen. Your long sloth like fingers wrapped around my thumb.
You’ve shown resilience to the point of stubbornness towards every conquered quest life has presented you in just a short amount of time.
Your quirky personality captivates everyone in the room, as your white frizzy curls bounce, peggy toothed smile or your whacky noises that are so individual to you. You’re overly animated facial expressions speak all the words, so you don’t have to. Your zest for life and enormous boundless energy make you brim of affection, attitude and curiosity. The feistiness is almost humorous when you scrunch that near non existent nose. Your incredible vitality and thirst for trying to learn and adapt to new settings and skills set by educational professionals.
I never thought it would be possible to be as proud and feel my heart ache at the same time when we’re sat at another hospital appointment for the 3rd day in a week. When you allow another strange face to be greeted with your shining energy as they point out your unique flaws. Every Tuesday is our day, every Tuesday that goes by I beam to the point I could cry as I soak in and cherish every ounce of your forming character, to love a being from the bottom of my heart as much as I do with you.
I wish I could freeze the beauty in the moments because this year your little personality has flourished and shown us plenty.
So now you’ve entered into your 4th year, a year of independence awaits you, as you start big girl school. We’re not sure where that will be just yet. But I know for one, you’ll move mountains where ever you’re meant to be, never be afraid to look back my darling because Mummy and daddy will always be there to cheer you on as you set off on your big girl adventure.
My little seed has grown, you’re no longer a shoot, you are the most beautiful flower that shines and radiates the sun on everyone around us. And every day, you bring new meanings of trials and tribulations.
How are you all? How are you keeping during quarantine?
This can be an incredibly lonely isolating and anxious time, specially for those who’s respite care/ Schools has been shortened or stopped completely. For those who’s professionals or carers have been cut and we’re winging it alone.
Please feel free to comment below, we’re in this together after all.
I’m pretty sure we can all, almost smell the anticipation it’s that high in the air right now.
As people scrap for medicines, as the elderly fight to be heard for their needs to be known, as panicked Mummy’s of hungry babies travelling high and low to ensure their babies are not without their essential needs. As Families of special needs children are gripped in fear of no longer knowing when their next respite is. As working and non working parents are worried of the juggle between home schooling and working from home. How we’re going to pay our bills and keep our roofs over our heads.
The atmosphere is buzzing trembling of fear.
Yet, as beautifully illustrated below, our NHS staff are rising every day and every night. Our paramedics, police and emergency services are still battling their way through the endless calls coming in for first response. Our under appreciated cleaners are ensuring the wards and corridors are clean, our shops and schools are clean and germ free keeping us safe in moments of need. Teachers are under pressure to answer questions they cannot predict right now, under pressure to keep the little minds grounded and secure, keeping them blissfully unaware of the panic the nation faces, whilst being under pressure to support parents in this moment of uncertainty. To our Care home and special needs supporting staff, ensuring our elderly relatives or family in supportive homes are safe and sound. Whilst company from loved ones is forbidden.
So whilst you reach out for your multiple packs of food In your over flown trolleys, a nurse returning from a over run 12 hour shift is possibly over worked and exhausted looking for baby milk to feed her son, she hasn’t seen for more than couple of hours this week. Or a paramedic that’s worked extra shifts needing the bare essentials to energise themselves. To the lorry drivers needing milk to add to their coffee for their 7th long haul drive. To the teacher who has been up all night making home educational packs individually thought of for each child in mind. To all the carers and cleaners, Thankyou for all you do.
Please be kind. Please be thoughtful And above all keep safe and sane.